New Study Finds Narcissists Are Significantly More Likely to Feel Excluded
If you’ve ever encountered a narcissist, you probably know the type—someone who craves attention, displays a sense of superiority, and lacks empathy for others. These individuals, especially the grandiose narcissists, thrive on admiration and can be highly manipulative. While narcissism may seem like a personality quirk, a new study suggests that it’s more than just self-centered behavior; narcissists may be genuinely excluded more often than those with less egocentric personalities. Let’s dive into why that is and how this dynamic plays out in relationships.
The Grandiose Narcissist: A Desire for Attention and Validation
Grandiose narcissists, also known as overt narcissists, are marked by an inflated sense of self-importance and an unrelenting need for validation. These individuals often use charm and manipulation to get what they want. Unlike covert narcissists, who mask their behaviors with self-pity, grandiose are bold and confident in their actions, always seeking the spotlight. However, a new study reveals that their craving for admiration can have a dark side: social exclusion.
How Narcissism and Exclusion Fuel Each Other
A recent study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology examined over 77,000 participants to understand why experience higher levels of social exclusion. The results were eye-opening.
Disruptive Behavior and Ostracism
It often exhibit behaviors like arrogance, aggression, and self-absorption, all of which can push others away. Over time, these disruptive actions make it more likely for others to distance themselves. But that’s not all—narcissists are hyper-sensitive to any signs of exclusion, whether real or perceived. A glance or a missed social media like can be enough to trigger their insecurities, leading them to feel ostracized even when no harm was intended.
As Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist, explains, have a “thin-skinned quality” when it comes to perceived exclusion. They pick up on the smallest cues and often misinterpret them as intentional slights. This heightened sensitivity makes them more aware of exclusion than others might be, creating a destructive cycle.
The Cycle of Victimhood and Antagonism
When feel left out, they often view themselves as victims, intensifying their antagonistic behaviors. This, in turn, pushes people further away, as they are now dealing with an emotionally charged individual. According to Christiane Büttner, the study’s lead author, this cycle not only affects narcissists in the moment but also shapes their future personality development, perpetuating the likelihood of further exclusion.
While the study focused on individuals who scored high on narcissism tests, it’s important to note that it didn’t specifically target those with pathological narcissism or narcissistic personality disorder. However, Dr. Durvasula believes that those with more extreme narcissistic tendencies may experience even more intense effects.
Narcissism in the Workplace: Rivalry and Aggression
The study also highlighted that who engage in narcissistic rivalry—seeing others as competition and acting aggressively—are more likely to be ostracized than those who seek attention in socially engaging ways. This is particularly common in work environments, where aggressive competition can lead to social isolation.
Despite their behavior, often display remarkable social perceptiveness, which can make them effective in leadership or business roles. However, they usually only use this skill when it benefits them. In situations where things don’t go their way, they tend to blame others, further fueling their sense of exclusion.
Can Narcissists Change?
As challenging as it may seem, there is hope for who want to change. Early intervention is key. Therapy, especially cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and social skills training, can help narcissists recognize their behaviors and challenge negative assumptions that lead to social exclusion. In some cases, mindfulness exercises like deep breathing and meditation can also help them cope with feelings of ostracism in healthier ways.
Dr. Durvasula emphasizes that narcissistic behaviors need to be addressed early on, particularly in children. Anti-bullying initiatives and efforts to prevent ostracism in schools can play a role in curbing tendencies before they become ingrained.
Navigating Relationships with Narcissists
Whether you’re dealing with a at work or in your personal life, it’s essential to know how to manage the relationship. Dr. Durvasula suggests a strategy called “disengagement”, which involves withdrawing from interactions to preserve your mental well-being. Narcissists are likely to interpret this as exclusion, but it’s necessary for your own emotional health.
In the workplace, often create additional challenges by avoiding responsibilities or creating chaos that others have to manage. This can leave colleagues frustrated and feeling like they have to pick up the slack. In family dynamics, the unpredictability of a behavior may lead to last-minute changes in plans or unmet commitments, which can be emotionally taxing.
When to Disengage Fully
Ultimately, disengagement or even cutting ties with a narcissist is a personal decision. While some people may only need a few negative experiences to decide to disengage, family members often tolerate narcissistic behavior for years or even decades before making the difficult choice to fully distance themselves.
Conclusion: The Narcissism-Ostracism Cycle
Narcissism and social exclusion go hand-in-hand. disruptive behaviors, along with their heightened sensitivity to perceived slights, make them more likely to experience exclusion. But this exclusion often fuels more narcissistic behaviors, creating a vicious cycle. While change is possible through therapy and intervention, navigating relationships with narcissists requires understanding, patience, and sometimes, disengagement for the sake of your mental health.
